Waylander, 43 - Zeerust

I’m basically a human version of “it is what it is.” Dark humor is my love language, honesty is my curse, and I’m as reliable as your morning coffee—minus the warmth. Blunt enough to make your mom uncomfortable, reserved like a cat sizing up a new human, and stubborn just for the sport of it. If you're looking for emotional fluff and sunshine, keep scrolling. But if you want someone who'll roast you lovingly and show up anyway with bandages - Congrats!! You're screwed.

A woman (30 - 45)

Smart. Strong. Straight-up. If you’re not all three, keep it moving. I don’t have time for emotional toddlers, chronic liars, people who think "maybe" is a personality, or people who treat reliability like a hobby. Be open-minded, brutally honest, and actually funny—not “dad joke” funny, but real, twisted, laugh-till-you-choke funny.