Online dating has made it easier to find that someone special. With just a few clicks or taps, you can find a potential romantic interest and there are usually many suitable matches to choose from. It offers a world of opportunities, but it also comes with risks. One of the biggest risks is financial scams.
One of the most important rules of online dating is to never send money to someone you meet online. No matter how convincing a story is, don’t fall for it. No matter how strong a connection feels, don’t become a victim. No matter how much someone insist that they’re in trouble, never fall for it. Under no circumstances, send money to someone you meet online.
In this article we dive into the warning signs of online dating scams. It will help you understand why scammers do what they do, and it will teach you how to protect yourself from falling victim to financial fraud.
The Rise of Online Dating Scams
Scammers target online daters because they know that emotions can cloud judgment. People looking for love tend to be more trusting and open. This unfortunately makes them vulnerable to manipulation. According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) in the US, romance scams have led to billions of dollars in losses. Sadly, the number of victims keeps increasing every year.
These scams don’t just cause financial loss, but they also break hearts. Many victims genuinely believe they’ve found love, only to later discover that the person they trusted was only interested in swindling money out of them and never existed in the first place.
How Online Romance Scams Work
Most online dating scams follow a similar pattern. Here’s how they usually unfold:
1. The Perfect Match
A scammer creates a fake profile using stolen photos and a false identity. Scammers usually claim to be military officers, doctors working overseas, or successful business people. They will usually choose a persona that makes it easy for them to explain why they can’t meet in person.
2. Building Trust
Once they start chatting to you, they’ll work hard to build an emotional connection. They may shower you with compliments and affection. They may even tell you they love you within a short period. Their goal is to make you feel special and to get you emotionally invested.
3. The Emergency Request
Once they feel that they have your trust, they’ll introduce a crisis.
Good examples of a crisis is:
- A medical emergency
- A legal problem
- A business deal that’s about to collapse
- A sudden need for transport money to come and see you
If you hesitate, they’ll make you feel guilty and insist that you’re their only hope.
4. The Never-Ending Excuses
Once you sent money, they never stop. They’ll keep coming back with new reasons to ask for more. Sometimes this could go on for months or even years. When you refuse, they might get aggressive or threaten to cut off contact in an effort to manipulate you into giving in.
5. The Disappearing Act
Sooner or later they may vanish after getting as much money as they could get out of you. Their online profile disappears, and they move on to the next victim.
Red Flags to Watch Out For
Recognizing the red flags can help you avoid falling victim to a scammer.
Here are some major red flags:
They fall for you too fast. If someone declares their love without meeting in person and within days or weeks of chatting, be suspicious. Scammers rely on rushing emotions to manipulate their victims. In real life love takes time to develop, and most importantly it needs to happen with meetings and real dates in person.
Scammers avoid video calls or in-person meetings. Scammers will often make excuses about bad internet connections, busy schedules, or security concerns when it comes to meeting in person. They will go to any length to avoid revealing their real identity.
They claim to be in the military or working overseas. Many scammers pose as soldiers, doctors, or engineers in foreign countries. They will often use their occupation to explain why they can’t meet in person.
They ask for money, gift cards, or cryptocurrency. No matter how convincing their story is, if they ask for money, it’s a scam. A person who is truly interested in a romantic relationship will never ask for money. When it comes to romance you want to at least start off with someone who is genuine. A genuine romantic partner will never ask for money.
Their social media presence seems fake. If they have very few friends or followers, no tagged photos, or their profile was recently created, they might be using a stolen identity.
They pressure you or use guilt trips. A scammer is very likely to say things like, “I thought you loved me,” or “If you really cared, you would help me.” This is manipulation.
Real Stories of Victims Who Were Scammed
Here are real-life cases of romance scams:
Case 1: The Military Scam
“Sarah”, a 45-year-old woman, met “David” on a dating site. He claimed to be a U.S. soldier stationed overseas. A few months of messaging goes by and the anticipation of finally meeting in person is in the air. He said he needed money to leave the base and visit her. Over a year, Sarah sent him thousands. When she tried to meet him, he completely disappeared.
Case 2: The Business Crisis
John, a 60-year-old widower, started chatting to “Sophia”. According to her she was an entrepreneur stuck in another country. She needed R50,000 to cover legal fees for a big upcoming deal. Just after John sent the money he never heard from her again.
These stories are truly heartbreaking, but they serve as important reminders: Never, ever send money to someone you haven’t met in person, in real life.
How to Protect Yourself from Online Dating Scams
1. Be Skeptical of Fast Love
Be cautious if someone you just met online is professing deep love and serious commitment. Scammers move fast to establish trust so that you don’t suspect anything.
2. Never Send Money, No Matter the Story
No genuine, legitimate romantic interest will ever ask you for money. If they do, there is no doubt that it’s a scam – period.
3. Verify Their Identity
Use reverse image searches like Google Image Search or TinEye to check if their profile photos appear somewhere else on the internet. They’re most likely to be a scammer if their photos are linked to multiple names.
4. Insist on Video Chats
Scammers will refuse video chats because they’re using stolen photos. It is a major red flag when the person you are chatting with always has an excuse for not showing their face.
Stay Safe and Protect Your Heart & Wallet
Online dating can be a truly wonderful way to meet people in this modern age. Keep in mind that it’s important to stay vigilant. Scammers prey on kindness, trust, and loneliness. They use emotional manipulation to steal money. The #1 rule of online dating safety is simple: Never send money to anyone you meet online. Follow this rule and stay wary of the red flags. Doing this will save you from becoming a victim. Be careful and trust your instincts. Remember that real love will never come with a price tag.
Also See:
A List of Ideas That Will Keep You Safe When Dating Online
Are Dating Websites Safe?